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Bloody machines!

This is the Saga of the Confused Washing Machine…

 I wrote this to a girlfriend yesterday,


“i've been dealing with a reluctant washing machine all day [and yesterday afternoon/evening, when the pump stopped working properly] as i had trouble getting the door open, due to water not draining away.  Finally did get door open [damn these programmes!] to get sopping wet clothes out and half the Red Sea came with it...


Thursday 21.4.11

I rang a plumber friend and he came and had a look or rather a listen this early am and said your pump's not working, but it's trying to.  It's under warranty, so i had to find the papers.  Couldn't find the damn things where they should have been, so i've spent the entire afternoon looking for them! Finally found them and rang the number about 4.30pm.  Girl told me to drain the machine and have a look at the filter [there's a hose inbuilt to help at the bottom front of the machine], then unplug the machine and leave it for two hours to reset back to factory settings. Then the pump will probably start okay, so run it with a normal wash - "Hold it!" i cried, "i can't do that, it doesn't unplug out here;  it's behind the machine and i'd have to pull it out [disabled and living on my own, etc] – it’s damned heavy, do i have to?"  Oh yes, ses she, it won't reset unless you break the connection - and added quickly - if you can get the door open again, the serial number is on the inside of the door, which i'll need to book an engineer to come out [if it still won't work]!   *I’m starting to look like a pink, boiled prawn by this stage*

Tore out more hair trying to stay calm and polite - i'll try, i said.  Anything else i can help you with? ses she - no, i said, unless you can replace the hair on the left side of my head...  she's giggling by this time.  

i've got to the 'pull-out-washing-machine' stage, wondering if i'm going to be able to do it...  There was a small wodge of 'stuff' [lint and hair?] behind the filter btw.   i'm going to give shifting the leviathan a go later.  It better bloody work again, if i can get that far!

I managed to woman-handle the incredibly heavy machine out from under the counter, took me a while, but it would only come out so far, due to the hoses attached to the back and I couldn’t reach to take the plug out!  My neighbours were out until late; I didn’t hear them come in.  I had to push it back in as it was completely blocking the sink in my narrow galley kitchen and wait until this morning when I asked my sweet neighbour to help me.

She came straight down, bless her forever, so nice.  I pulled out the machine and she wriggled half-behind the machine and took the plug out.  Now this is where it started to go pear-shaped.  I got jumbled with where the 2-hour wait happened and instead of waiting for 2 hours before plugging it back in – we waited 5 minutes [like I would for the Sky box to reset] and reconnected.  I thanked my lovely neighbour and sat and waited like a complete wally for two hours, before switching back on.

Of course, complete waste of time.  Still not working.  So I rang Service again and she said, no, 2-hours to reset before plug back in…and no, no way was she going to send me an engineer until I’d done it, as it was the first thing he’d ask, has the machine been reset to factory setting – and if she said ‘it’s in the manual’ once…intimating I could be charged for the engineer call-out, if there was nothing wrong with it – at around £70 for the pleasure! 


I ground my teeth and barely hanging onto my temper, sanity and blood pressure, stomped off to make myself a coffee.  Because by this stage, of course, my neighbours had departed to do whatever they had to do for the day.  So I wrote a note saying ‘can we do it again when you get home?’ and attempted to get on with the rest of my day. 


Neighbour duly came home about 6.30pm? and came straight round.  I’m pulling out the damn machine again and telling her how grateful I am she’s come, pulled too hard, trapped my hand and jerked back – there’s a sharp crack and there’s water spurting EVERYWHERE like the frakking Vila D ’Este fountains!  I’d broken the water-feed pipe!  Under pressure, of course.  Bloody hell. 

So there I am, leaning over the machine trying to put the hose into the sink, it’s a little too short and I have to hold my hand over it to try and limit the damage.  Neighbour ran and yelled for her partner and grabbed my phone.  We swapped places until he arrived and I rang 999 for Fire Brigade just in case he couldn’t find the stopcock.  Partner arrived poste haste and had to push machine back under the counter, out of the way to get under the sink and find the stopcock, without ripping the hose out of his lady’s hands - and the Gods Bless His Little Cotton Socks, he managed it!!  OH, the relief!  Apologised to a very nice and understanding Fire lady and sagged, dripping, against the wall.

I’d got ½” of water all over the floor and some dripping in places, but it looked worse than it was.  They offered to stay and help clean up, the darlings, but I assured them, it was only water and I’d manage, really.  They left assuring me all I had to do was call but to remember they would be away tomorrow for the weekend.

It didn’t take me all that long, because we had managed to direct most of the water into the sink.  It had spurted towards the window behind the sink and once I’d dried off the window & counters, removed some soggy cardboard, all that remained was the floor.  I left the café curtain to drip dry after a quick squeeze, got out the mop and set too.  I was pretty much done by 8 o’clock and am now waiting for the floor to finish drying off.


I used my time to order Chinese and send a message to Friend Plumber to see if he can come up with a water hose for me, or do I have to find a Beko dealer – as soon as he could manage it next week, if he can do it.  I couldn’t have picked a worse time, could I?  Good Friday tomorrow, Easter weekend… He’s bound to be away with the Missus… 

But amazingly, he picked up my message and rang me back very quickly.  He was indeed out of Cambridge but would be back tomorrow; would I like him to come round?  I about cried.  Are you sure? - YES PLEASE.  Fine, see you at 9.30am.  What a relief!


By the way, in all the excitement, we forgot and the damn machine is still plugged in…  I was mopping up by the machine and wondering how much water was left under there, when it dawned on me.  I started giggling, of course!  No, I’m not touching it again tonight.  I’ll have FP do it for me tomorrow morning.  It can at least be reset ready when the repairs are done, because I still have to reconnect and try to run the machine – but I’m running an extension cord to an above-counter plug this time!  Frakk that!

Good Friday

My good Friend Plumber arrived bang on the dot, he’s very punctual for business stuff.  Had a quick look and said, no problem, I’ll just get the hose.  And in jig time, I had a new hose on the back of the machine, water turned back on again – and the plug pulled out to the front!  We chatted about washing machines & plumbing as he waited to see all was well and said the call-out charges for holidays were exorbitant, £100 or more and he was glad I had called him instead.  I dashed him some cash of course for the new hose and his time, but not that much!  He was pleased with what I gave him, I think and departed cheerfully. 

I am now nearly 1½ hrs into the reset period and come the end, I will plug in and see what happens.  There won’t be anyone there in Service today of course, so if I do need to book an engineer,  it would have to wait until tomorrow.  It takes about 48 hours I think she said, for the engineer to come but I’m betting it would be Tuesday not Monday, before he hit the radar.  Let’s hope I don’t need one, eh?

What a soddin’ palaver… why now and why me!  If I need to clear the filter after only four months of use, does this mean I’ll have to keep on doing it?  I guess it probably does, which is why I’m not using the socket behind the machine again – gods forbid I should ever need to switch the damn thing off again!

On the plus side, I have some lovely neighbours and an obliging plumber for future reference.  It’s a beautiful day, mild and cloudless skies – what more could you ask for?  *Somebody to shoot that bloody pigeon cooing repeatedly in next door’s garden – I hate them!*

Half an hour to go…

Right.  Plugged it back in.  Lots of lights and making a funny noise, but I hung in there and lo and behold, lights disappeared, noise stopped and the ready light came up.  Emboldened, I put a small amount of detergent in the hopper [bit of a gunky residue in the drum] but no clothing, selected the shortest programme and pressed Start.

It filled, swirled and did it’s little dance and appeared to be working just fine, pumping out the water too.  When it finished, I took the bull by the proverbial and stuck in the dark wash I never got round to earlier in the week.  I’m happy to report it seems to have worked just fine.  *heaves HUGE sigh of relief and sends virtual finger to Service*  Do NOT do that to me again.  I'll do some more maybe Sunday.

Here endeth the lesson.

Enjoy the rest of your Easter weekend, friends and neighbours…  *smooches*


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 26th, 2011 04:07 am (UTC)
Good grief!! I'm glad the darn thing is working again. What a pain in the arse!
Apr. 26th, 2011 09:23 am (UTC)
That it surely is! Being a brand new machine, it takes a little to get used to it. i much prefer a top-loading agitator type, without all the bells & whistles of multiple programming etc - it's just more to go wrong! i think top-loading's a much better wash and you can open the lid when there's water in the bowl.
What is really irritating is the high probability i'll have to clear out the filter again, in another 3 months or so, so it doesn't happen again. Bad enough i'll have to do the drain water thing to do it, but not as bad as having to do the whole re-set the damn machine again!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )